256 Old Memories of East-Bourne. [Chap. XIX.
candidate is that he will bring in a Bill to enact that no trains on the Brighton Railway shall arrive more than a quarter-of-an-hour late, except on days of thunderstorms. A certificate by a Government Inspector of Thunderstorms will be a defence against proceedings under the Act.
Your readers will see, and I hope Mr. Brown will see, that though I went to the Compton Place Garden Party I am not going to be caught by "any thinly-disguised bait," and that if he has ready to hand a suitable C. B. puppet of the right sort (that is, of my sort), I will vote for him and will have nothing to do with Mr. Lindsay Hogg or any other so-called Imperialist patriots whose sole idea seems to be to magnify Queen Victoria, Lord Salisbury (a most incapable Foreign Minister) and gloat over the Battles of Waterloo and Trafalgar (two most regretable incidents in English historv). Far better sell Gibraltar and make Mr. Labouchere Foreign Secretary and Dr. Clark, M.P., Colonial Secretary and Custos Rotulorum. I hope Mr. Brown will agree with me on these points, and not think that though I went to the-Compton Place party I have swallowed any "thinly-disguised bait." I enclose my name, but please, Mr. Editor, not for publication, as I desire to remain anonymous, not being up in the art of " writing to the papers." "
G. F. C.
P.S.—I am not sure that this is the proper ending. If wrong, pardon my inexperience.
Beachy Head (in a sea fog), July 30, 1900.
How Fiction may become "History."
Some 30 years ago there appeared in a local paper a statement to the effect that the Rev. G. M. Cooper, Vicar of Wilmington, had been Tutor to the 7th Duke of Devonshire, and that the Duke, then Mr. Cavendish, had once met with a serious accident out hunting near Beachy Head. Anxious to ascertain the facts I applied to his sister for information and obtained the following answer :—
" My Brother most certainly never had any accident at Birling Gap. He never wan with Mr. Cooper, but my cousin Col. Frederick Cavendish was his pupil not at Wilmington but here at The Grove about 50 years ago. I never heard of his or Lord Chichester having any accident. I have heard Lord Chichester say that, when he was a young man, he was at East-Bourne with a tutor (not Mr. Cooper), Yours very sincerely, Fanny Howaed."
It is the 3rd Earl of Chichester who is alluded to above. After him came the 4th and 5th Earls—both of whom I knew from working with them—one on the County Council and the other on the Diocesan Conference Committee.
Pigs as Engineers.
Looking over the MS. journals of my uncle, Mr. Walter Brodie, some time ago I came upon the following " traveller's tale " :—